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Ways to Be More Assertive


Many people in the world are living a resentful life as they do not know how to communicate effectively to get their needs. One of the main reasons for this is that they are not aware about how to do it. They do not know how to express what they really want and how to get their message across. People like this can be found in your environment and this kind of weakness can affect you in many ways that’s why if you’re dealing with them, you have the responsibility to do something to manage the situation. As one of the many ways to provide solutions to this issue, here are few assertive communication techniques I’ve found that we must all learn and practice into action whenever and wherever it is needed. But before you proceed, it is important to put in mind that not all these methods work all the time as situations differ in any possible ways. 


According to the source, the first thing we can do is to get in touch with our own needs. This means that we must evaluate and know what we really want to get/accomplished to satisfy our self in ways that are not harmful to others. We can also tell what we want by setting boundaries against possible intrusions by other people; things that could violate our privacy and safety or anything against our interests. Determining what are the limitations we have for our physical, emotional, and mental aspects will help us create some sort of protection against discomfort or any disturbances in the future. When people know our boundaries, they cannot treat us badly.

The next is, for us to be understood clearly, we must be confident and firm when asking about our needs, of course, in a respectful way. In this manner we can communicate clearly to people. This is also an effective way to project a gesture of consistency and assertion for our stance. However, by doing this we must also not forget to recognize other person’s needs and see things through their perspectives. We must consider others using our empathic self by treating the person with respect and with willingness to listen so that it will be easier to hear their side as well. In such way, both efforts can result to productive and constructive ending. Remember that it is not always about our interests but the interests of others should also be considered in the process for all to achieve genuine solution.

Meanwhile, by providing other options we can allow the other person to cooperate instead of sabotaging the negotiations. Let’s say for example, if you are a leader of a group, providing your members with easy and flexible options instead of offering them rigid demands will enable them to be more creative and resourceful and thus, more helpful to the project. Being aggressive or being always tough or strict will never cultivate healthy harmony inside the group but instead, create an atmosphere of fear and passivity. In whatever situation, providing other people choices while also being consistent to your needs will enable you to be assertive while also being considerate and inclusive of others. 

For us to be effective in getting our needs, another thing we can do is keep an attitude of calmness and confidence. In asserting our wants, demands or concerns, we must always respect others and always be humble. No human being is above others so no one has the right to humiliate or abuse others. Just because you are entitled to do one thing doesn’t mean you are superior to others and you can disrespect others. Being aggressive in expressing your needs will only lead to tensions and stresses and thus, worsening a situation instead of bettering it. So to be effectively assertive, it’s always important to just be calm while also being clear and consistent in expressing concerns.

For more details about these techniques, check out these references: