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The Decline of Romantic Relationship and Marriage

By
James Herer
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In some parts of the world today, there is something big happening with regards to romantic relationships and marriage. It is important to talk about it as we all know that these kinds of decision often causes serious consequences as what we can see in people all across culture of the globe these days. We are talking about a great decline here and surely there are important messages behind this phenomenon. In places like the America, England, and Japan for example, a growing number of men and women today are no longer anymore interested to get involved in a romantic or domestic partnership because of so many considerable reasons. One main reason is the economic factor. For example, when it comes to the financial aspect the society demands that the man’s wealth and income is the one that must play a very important role. Perhaps, this is also why hypergamy is still very much alive in the west. And so economically or financially speaking, men are the ones who often lose when divorce takes place.

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Cultural influences and gender wars

The second factor is the culture. If you are into literature and socio-political issues, this is just a normal thing to expect given that so many different influences and trends are now becoming more pervasive therefore can be considered at play in this age regarding these topics. This is also the reason why gender advocates and rights groups such as the men’s rights activist and the third wave feminists are still very active and much alive; constantly at war with each other. Wherever in the world, it is still pretty evident that romantic relationship, as a normal biological tendency of our species, is still very common and marriage is still a choice for the majority that is why it is important to consistently talk about it for us to learn and make way for better understanding.

Based on my experiences, I have few ideas that I’ve also learned from others that I really think are very helpful and that can make way for solutions to some situations. Besides, I also appreciate and live by the lessons that I learn from people that I look as potential role model for the society that’s why I take time to share them. Well, oftentimes people ask me, are you married? Why don’t you have a family? When are you going to have children? Who will take care of you when you are old and dying? They ask these questions as if it is the same as buying something from the grocery. They have this notion that the only purpose of a human being is just to reproduce its genes and just to take care of his or her dying parents or their spouse.

The lack of affection, the dark side, and mental health

One really main reason why people commit to a long term relationship is the need for affection. It is a biological need that has profound effects on our body and mind especially on the subconscious level. These effects can even be measured using various scientific methods with regards to our health and happiness (neuro-chemicals for example). But however, often what is not being ask about is that as individuals, how about our relationship to our self? Saying this, we can also ask, what is more important, your relationship with the people in general or your relationship to a woman? We all die in the end that is why another important question is, how well did you live your life? How did you use your name? How did you exist? How much time did you spend with your self alone and contemplative? It is true that affection from other people is very rewarding and very helpful for our mental health but what we don’t think about is the dark side of this. When you try to pay attention, it is really undeniable that many people suffer on their mental health instead of growing from their romantic relationship. That is why this aspect of our existence must be thought about well.    

Relationship expectations versus the reality

It is normal that people do not expect the worse from their relationship. That’s why they don’t talk about important things such as the value of loyalty, honesty, clear and respectful communications, emotional needs, etc. However, nobody can deny the reality that even though you treat others nicely, you cannot guarantee that they will treat you the same. Oftentimes, both the man and the woman in a relationship see their connection in a happy and tolerable lens at first but then few weeks or months later, they will find themselves in a power struggle situation where all the positive projections, impressions, and idealism are now starting to wear off life a deteriorating mask from each other’s faces.

However, it is also true that this is not always the case. The point here is that you should not put so much expectation to a person even though you both think that you are so sure about being with each other forever as you cannot really predict the future. However, you can do something to keep things healthy and in balance. And remember, mostly things like these are out of your control; all you can do is to make your self better. Before you can become truly ready to a long-term domestic relationship, first you have to learn how to live alone and develop a good relationship with your self.

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