Nagging is a common problem in most households. Many families or relationships have been destroyed because of this bad communication pattern that is often overlooked or worst, unnoticed. This happens when one person, let’s say for example a mother, is asking their child to do something but the child or the other person ignores or forget to grant this request. In turn, the mother repeatedly makes request and still this request is repeatedly being ignored that is why it will become a sort of command. And then, the mother becomes annoyed and starts to raise her voice; starts to strongly command again her son or daughter to do the thing or things she asked them to do. So this will start to become a pattern called nagging.
In most cases, the person being asked to do the favor becomes irritated and annoyed too because of this repetitive demand. It will now start a conflict. This can also be applied to a couple. The wife does the nagging because the husband forgets or sometimes ignore the favor or vice versa. So eventually, the pattern becomes toxic to the relationship. However, there could be many different reasons why the other person fails to do the things he is being requested to. Unfortunately, most people are unskilled when it comes to communication and other important things in a relationship.
This pattern of toxic communication has many different forms and there are many factors that might cause this destructive thing to happen. According to experts, in most cases, women are more likely to nag. This is because they are the once who are conditioned to feel more responsible on home and family management. This is also the reason why they tend to be more sensitive to early signs of relationship problems. But the problem of this is that repetitive request or command is often likely to worsen the problem. Most people do not want to hear frequent command or feel irritated on requests that are being repetitively asked.
Couples or families that are in the nagging cycle are stuck in a bad pattern, as some psychologists have concluded. They believe that this so-called bad pattern is rooted in a more complex unconscious element of our behavioral patterns. These are usually caused by our urge to repeat things in our psyche that are unresolved. Many of us humans replay conflicts within our mind that are unsettled or unanswered. In a minimal situation, it is normal but when left unchecked, it will become a serious problem.
That is why we need to work things out appropriately and think through it to completely understand why it is happening. For example, rather than concluding that the other person is lazy and careless, try to think if he or she is just tired, overworked, or has other important priorities. On the other hand, instead of thinking that your wife or mother is obsessed about the request, try to think if she has so many chores or undergoing stress or pressure. In this way, there will be more room for understanding and resolution.
Most people who are stuck in this pattern of nagging usually feel bad about it. Of course, nobody enjoys conflict and problems as they do not and will never help people grow and enjoy each other’s company in a relationship. When this type of bad pattern is resolved, the relationship will become more meaningful and it will surely help each other become better. However, if both sides are not smart and patient enough to solve it, blaming and further verbally destroying each other, the drama will always remain and resurface in the relationship in the future, constantly causing stress and pain to each other. Therefore, it is really necessary to negotiate things properly and respectfully. Creating new plans, organizing family matters and concerns, sincerely listening to each other’s needs, creating new roles according to the person’s capacity, having patience and understanding are some of the most effective ways to stop this very destructive pattern of nagging.